As a matter of fact, Life’s little lessons is neither a rhapsody nor an odyssey. The author here, is trying to rack his brain as much as possible, attempting to recollect those life’s lil’ lessons and is trying to present ‘em in the best way possible. Perhaps, Life’s little lessons are the real life incidents, the author has faced in his lifetime and I bet you’ll not find these lil’ lessons in any Jeffrey Archer’s works. Duh, that was an allusion, pardon me. Enough of the trivial introduction, all right, here they are!
Lesson#1: There’s a big difference between a “Hi” and a “Hello”. So read on and use ‘em properly. Damn.
Location: At my friend’s place, on the outskirts of Chennai.
This is a boring lesson. Last year by the end of August, I was visiting my friend’s place. I don’t know for what reason I went there, was it a social call, an extended stay at his place, a casual conversation, an official inspection, or for boarding a ship, I seriously don’t know. By noon I reached his place and he received me with a bittersweet welcome. And after a casual conversation with him, he introduced me to his sister who was actually 3 years elder to me. On seeing her for the first time, I greeted her saying a “hello”, and received a hello back. After she left the place, my friggin’ friend pointed out that one should not greet elders with a “hello”, “hi” is a better greeting! Say hello to some one who is younger to you! Oh, really is it? I wondered. What a bummer!
Lesson#2: Always check if your pants are zipped before you move out from your place.
Location: City Centre, R.K Salai, Chennai.
I was visiting this place for the first time in my life. All right, after watching a matinée show at Inox, I was getting down the stairs. As I was descending on an escalator with some of my fellow-mates, I was in for a big surprise. A lay man who was snooping there for quite some time started yelling at me. I could not figure out for what reason he was hollering at me. He saw me and pointing at my groin, yelled zippu pa, zippu, only then I could realize, I forgot to zip my pants! Damn! All right, young man. Thanks a lot for reminding me. Eh, a lesson well learnt by me and the people around, within ear reach.
Lesson#3: Bikes/bicycles cannot scale walls. Despite what they show in cartoon and elsewhere.
Location: Somewhere down the road.
This one is a bit painful if you don’t have enough balance. When I was in my early teens I was very much obsessed with people who perform various stunts with their bikes/bicycles. In spite of the television advertisers who flash a statutory warning, saying not to imitate this and that they’re performed by experts, I went on. I did not pay any heed to ‘em, in fact who cares a damn about that? All right, I don’t want to elucidate what happened here but you get the gist, don’t you? I tried to impress a girl and eventually ended up with bruises all over my body.
Lesson#4: When you’re involved in a heated argument with someone, don’t stab the person with a sharply pointed tip of a pencil.
Location: At my school.
This is the one that hurts the most, especially when when you don’t wear your undies. The folks in school keep pestering me like crazy. They have the habit of making fun of my stature. I agree I’m short but what if they go beyond the limits? Ah, simple. I call them names. When I was at the back of a god damned fellow, I realized that that was my moment. I had a sharply pointed tip of a pencil and with my bare hands stabbed him with that on his buttocks and I ran for my life. LMAO! That would have hurt him a lot, I guess. Sorry mate.
Lesson#5: Don’t ever touch the calling bell. Knock at the door instead. It’s safe too.
Location: At home, sweet home.
I remember a person who came home, one fine afternoon and he hit the calling bell right away. That was a god damned idea I should say, he should have knocked at the door instead. As there is no grill in front of the door by the entrance, it will take only a matter of seconds to greet the person in. As soon as the doorbell was rung, it started giving an ugly cry. There was some problem with the buzzer and eventually the buzz did not stop. It started making a hell of a noise like some old tape-recorder loaded with a half-dead battery. I stood there anxiously waiting for it to come to a standstill, so was my brother and so were my parents and so was the man. Eww, I could see the embarrassment on everyone’s face. Damn, that sounds really bad, doesn’t it?
Lesson#7: Serial number, experiment, observation, inference and result!
Location: In the Chemistry lab.
To a pinch of the mixture, a few drops of ethyl alcohol and concentrated sulphuric acid are added and the mixture is heated in a test tube and it’s then poured into a dilute solution of sodium bicarbonate. Finally note the smell emanating from the test tube. Argh, I don’t remember the experiment properly, pardon me. It’s also advisable not to carry out this experiment in the chemistry lab or elsewhere without adult supervision. Err., what am I talking about? Wait a second, while going through all this you definitely missed the 6th lesson, didn’t you? All right, things are going haywire now, I suppose my mind has gone fishing. So I stop here.
P.S- Kindly note that these real life incidents did not happen in the same way as mentioned above. I’ve randomly numbered them for my convenience.
July 23rd, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Ok the hi and hello thing was just ridiculous.
The calling bell thing was hilarious.
Nicely formatted post, for once.
May 4th, 2008 at 7:49 am
Good compilation of all the events .
The Zip incident was very interesting . a similar incident happened for me in school , but no one except the guy who notified about the zip was present at the spot.Fortunately both of us didn’t knew each other .so no ROFL !!
June 4th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Really Funny!
June 7th, 2008 at 8:55 am
Guess you are lost forever Sarin.